It was never meant to be love.
Just ordinary working days. Just a voice that lingered a little too long.
But the closer she stood, the harder it became to pretend her heart wasn’t changing.
After one night blurred the line between friendship and something more, nothing between them felt simple anymore.
She tells herself it’s nothing.
She tells herself it will pass.
It doesn’t.
Before I Knew It Was You is a slow-burn sapphic romance about quiet longing, emotional tension, and the kind of love that grows softly — until it becomes impossible to ignore.
Perfect for readers who love tender WLW stories, slow emotional build, and intimate character-driven romance.
My first novel falls under the LGBTQ+ fiction genre, and the value I hold most dearly is equality—especially in terms of gender and the diversity of humanity. I want my writing to reflect equality in a natural and believable way. Although the story is set in a fictional ancient kingdom, I don’t write with a naive lens that ignores the physical realities between genders.
The protagonists of my story are women. I never wanted to portray them as unrealistically strong or physically limitless. In real life, women do face physical challenges that differ from those of men. When placed in a historical context—one far from modern comfort—these limitations become even more apparent. So how can we still talk about equality?
For me, equality does not mean making everyone the same. It means recognizing each other’s nature, respecting both similarities and differences, and never using one’s physical or social advantage to harm others. If you're bigger, you shouldn't bully someone smaller. If you're wealthier or hold more power, you shouldn’t belittle or exploit. Those actions are never worthy of respect.
In the world I’ve built, everyone respects one another without forgetting the nature of life itself. No one forgets their duty, nor assumes they’ll live forever in power. Authority, privilege, and comfort are all good things—if we know how to use and preserve them responsibly. My story is built around governance that aims for peace, sustainability, and coexistence. The leaders in my novel aren’t perfect; they, too, must learn, stumble, and face misguided groups during times of change.
Symbols of Learning, Sacrifice, and Foresight
The Queen in my story represents a ruler who governs based on what is right—aiming for sustainability and equality. She is not simply someone granted power by birthright; she is someone who uses that opportunity with full effort, laying down foundations with care and acting with intention. She doesn’t sit idly in her chambers; she understands the world and chooses to engage with it head-on.
Jinda—another key character—is the embodiment of a new generation that chooses to understand the world, not to force it to change for her, but to learn how change can last. She understands both policy and people. Her sacrifices are not made because she’s a heroine; they’re made because she sees that giving up comfort does not strip her of her humanity.
Jinda does not demand power, even though she is the daughter of a wealthy and influential governor. She never uses her resources to climb the ladder of authority. She isn’t lazy—far from it. She simply chooses not to do something just because she can, especially if it would cause greater harm in the long term. She learns from the past and believes one doesn't have to make mistakes personally in order to understand them.
The former king (Anantavaraman) represents true opportunity. He does not wield his power to command submission. Instead, he carefully lays the groundwork for change. One example is when he tells his daughter at age 14 that she will be appointed Crown Princess. This early declaration allows her time to prepare and to build trust. At age 18, he formally names her heir and opens space for thoughtful debate—welcoming feedback from the royal court and the people.
They discuss how the kingdom would respond to having its first female ruler. More importantly, they ask how the Crown Princess herself would prove her readiness. The king doesn’t wait long. When his daughter turns 22, he abdicates the throne, allowing her to rise as Queen and carry on the mission. In that moment, she is no longer “the successor,” but a true leader in her own right—driven, wise, and devoted to her people.
👑 The Crown Princess
“If not the daughter of a royal line,
Could I truly claim this queenly role as mine?”
As the first reigning queen of her kingdom,
Isarawadee carries the weight of countless expectations—
and on some days, that weight grows heavier than anyone could ever see.
ในระหว่างที่ฉันเขียน “องค์หญิงรัชทายาท” ชีวิตก็ยังคงหมุนต่อในแบบที่มันเป็น—ฉันยังคงทำงานประจำเหมือนคนทั่วไป มีประชุม มีไฟล์ต้องส่ง และมีงานที่รอหลังปีใหม่เหมือนระเบิดลูกใหญ่ที่นับถอยหลังอยู่ While writing "The Crown Princess," my life kept spinning as usual—I still had my day job like everyone else, with meetings, deadlines, and post-holiday work waiting like a ticking time bomb.
ช่วงเวลานั้นเป็นฤดูที่เรียกว่า “หลังคริสต์มาส” ซึ่งหลายคนอาจใช้พักใจ แต่สำหรับบริษัทที่ฉันอยู่ มันคือ สองไตรมาสสุดท้าย และฉันคือทหารที่อยู่แนวหน้า That period, known as "post-Christmas," might be a time of rest for many—but in my company, it marked the final two quarters, and I was a front-line soldier.
แต่พอตกเย็น ฉันกลับบ้าน ถอดหน้ากากพนักงาน… นักเขียนสาวยูริก็กลับมาสิงร่าง But in the evening, once home and off the employee mask... the Yuri novelist in me returned.
ฉันเปิดไอแพดเพื่อดูว่าตอนที่เพิ่งลงไป มีใครเมนต์อะไรไหม มีใครรู้สึกกับฉากนั้นบ้างไหม มีใครรักจินดากับองค์ราชินีเหมือนฉันหรือเปล่า I opened my iPad to check if anyone had commented on my latest chapter. Did anyone feel something from that scene? Did anyone love Jinda and the Queen like I did?
...แต่คอมเมนต์ที่รอก็ไม่มา ใจมันแป้วอยู่นิดหน่อยค่ะ ยอมรับตามตรง ...But the comments I was waiting for didn’t come. My heart sank a little, I admit.
แต่ฉันก็เตือนตัวเองว่า “นี่ไม่ใช่การวิ่งแข่ง” เราไม่ได้เขียนเพื่อแข่งกับใคร... เราเขียนเพราะเรารักสิ่งนี้ But I reminded myself, “This isn’t a race.” I’m not writing to compete… I write because I love it.
แล้วฉันก็เริ่มทำสิ่งที่อันตรายที่สุดสำหรับนักเขียนมือใหม่ “เปิดอ่านนิยายตัวเองตั้งแต่ตอนแรก” Then I did the most dangerous thing a new writer can do—“I re-read my novel from the very beginning.”
ใช่ค่ะ... แล้วก็ร้องไห้เบา ๆ กับบางฉากที่ตัวเองเขียน Yes… and I cried a little at some of the scenes I had written.
ไม่ใช่เพราะเศร้า ไม่ใช่เพราะรู้สึกว่ามันดีเหลือเกิน แต่เพราะฉันได้สัมผัสบางความรู้สึกที่ “เป็นความรัก” จริง ๆ Not because it was sad. Not because it was brilliant. But because I touched something that felt like true “love.”
ฉันไม่ได้เขียนยูริเพราะมันกำลังเป็นกระแส ฉันไม่ได้เขียนเพื่อให้มันหวือหวา แต่ฉันเขียนเพราะ... ความรักของคนสองคน มันคือความรัก ไม่ว่าจะเป็นเพศไหนก็ตาม I didn’t write Yuri because it’s trendy. I didn’t write it for sensationalism. I wrote it because… love between two people is love, no matter the gender.
บางฉาก อย่างตอนที่องค์ราชินีแค่ “เงียบไปหนึ่งอึดใจ” และจินดาก็รับรู้ว่าอีกฝ่ายกำลัง “อดกลั้นบางอย่างไว้” Some scenes...like when the Queen paused for just a heartbeat, and Jinda knew she was “holding something back”—
ฉันรู้สึกว่ามันคือความเข้าใจโดยไม่ต้องพูด มันคือการจับมือกันในใจโดยไม่มีคำว่ารัก I felt it was understanding without words. It was holding hands in the heart without saying ‘I love you.’
ความรู้สึกนั้นมันจริงสำหรับฉัน แม้ในชีวิตจริงฉันจะไม่เคยเดทกับผู้หญิง แต่ความรักแบบนั้น…ฉันเข้าใจมันได้ และฉันเขียนมันด้วยความเคารพ ไม่ใช่เพื่อความแฟนตาซี That feeling was real to me. Even though I’ve never dated a woman, I understand that kind of love. And I write it with respect—not for fantasy.
คืนนั้น ฉันรู้เลยว่า ถึงจะมีคนอ่านแค่หนึ่งคน คือฉันเอง แต่นิยายเรื่องนี้มี “หัวใจ” จริง ๆ That night, I realized even if there was just one reader me this novel truly had “a heart.”
และนั่นแหละคือคืนที่ฉัน “กลับมาเชื่อในงานเขียนของตัวเองอีกครั้ง” And that was the night I “believed in my writing again.”
สุดท้ายนี้... ขอบคุณทุกคนที่เปิดใจอ่าน ที่ไม่มองว่าความรักของผู้หญิงสองคนต้อง “พิสูจน์ตัวเอง” และขอบคุณที่ปล่อยให้ฉันเขียน...แม้จะไม่มีคำว่า “เพอร์เฟกต์” แต่มันคือความรักที่เขียนด้วยใจจริง 🩷 Finally… thank you to everyone who reads with an open heart. Who doesn’t think love between two women needs to “prove itself.” Thank you for letting me write… even if it’s not “perfect,” it’s love written with true intent. 🩷
I didn’t know how to write about love in a way that felt fresh and original—until I met a girl named Jinda.
I created her to be a young woman just beginning to grow, yet I gave her a soul more mature than her age. She’s the only daughter of a prominent provincial governor, raised with the responsibility of taking care of herself and others. Her parents were devoted civil servants, so she wasn’t a pampered child, but one accustomed to chores, duty, and quiet resilience.
When she entered the palace, she brought no servant with her.
She chose instead to stand in humility, with a heart ready to serve Her Majesty with sincerity.
The only thing she couldn’t grow out of—was her innocence in love.
She was seventeen.
She entered the palace with a heart untouched by romance.
Then she met a woman everyone called “The Queen.”
In the novel’s prose, I tell you how she feels.
But in the poems—I let her tell it herself.
She said the Queen’s beauty made her heart tremble.
She said she was overcome by Her gaze—
Uncertain if it was fear of power… or something deeper.
From silken stillness, she emerged with grace untold,
Her radiance bloomed, too vast for hearts to hold.
Enchanted, I gasped—such splendor to obey,—
As trembling longings swelled, I hid the ache away.
Jinda never knew the exact moment she fell in love.
She only knew that…
Each morning she woke up hoping to see Her again.
Each farewell, she carried every glance, every word—playing them over and over in her mind.
And every time the Queen paused in silence… Jinda’s heart raced for no clear reason.
The closeness, the trust the Queen gave her—
It confused her more. The Queen spoke so little,
And yet Jinda felt warmth, and something else—too tender to name.
I never thought that a girl who didn’t even know what love was...
Would become the one to teach me how to write it—
Gently. Uniquely.
Jinda’s love isn’t like those in dramas or films.
There’s no grand confession. No dramatic climax.
It’s a love woven into shared silences,
In soft sighs…
And in the act of allowing oneself to be most vulnerable—in front of someone special.
And that… might be one of the most beautiful kinds of love there is.
✨To Nong Orm — my muse who brought ‘Jinda’ to life not only as a character, but as a reflection of quiet strength and tenderness.
Thank you for being there, simply by being you.
“If not the daughter of a royal line,
Could I truly claim this queenly role as mine?”
As the first reigning queen of her kingdom,
Isarawadee carries the weight of countless expectations—
and on some days, that weight grows heavier than anyone could ever see.
Have you ever noticed that the Queen is quieter than any other character in the story?
She barely speaks at all,
and yet every word, every glance, and every action seems to speak straight from her heart.
“Princess Isarawadee” is the only daughter of King Anantavarman.
She was appointed as crown princess at the age of 18,
and later ascended the throne after her father abdicated in her favor.
I intentionally created the Queen to be this “still.”
As the leader of her realm,
a single word from her could carry consequences.
Her silence isn't coldness... it's a reflection of calm, strength, and deep consideration before she says or does anything.
Even when it comes to love...
the Queen knows her own heart.
But as a human being (no matter how high her station),
she too has her moments of doubt.
I wanted her to carry this quiet uncertainty... but not for long.
If you've read the story, you'll know she is brave enough to follow her heart in the end.
And despite her poise…
there are moments when she seems to forget just how beautiful she truly is.
So beautiful that people dare to approach her... and yet no one can easily reach the heart of the Queen.
The inspiration for her character came from a Thai actress who's gaining much attention right now: Ling Ling Kwong.
She is graceful, sweet, and elegant in a way that feels effortless.
The moment I saw her, I thought,
“If Queen Isarawadee were real, this is what she would look like.”
Her beauty gave me the confidence to write the word "radiant" for the Queen
without feeling it was an exaggeration.
It’s the kind of beauty that feels simple but captivating and even made one royal consort in the story flinch internally when someone praised the Queen aloud.
(No spoilers here!)
Now, if I had to choose a favorite scene...
Honestly, I could say all of them (laughs).
But there is one scene that deeply moved me,
one that I even wrote about on ReadAWrite and I’ll admit, I cried while writing it.
It’s one of the simplest scenes,
where the Queen feels a quiet happiness in something so small,
even though she knows that happiness won’t last long.
Her heart opens up to a feeling,
while quietly fearing that it may soon fade.
And me, the author... despite being the one who controls the fate of every character...felt like I could do nothing for her.
Even the little happiness she found that day...
I couldn’t let her keep it for long.
I felt everything at once...joy for her, sorrow knowing it was brief,
and guilt as the one who created her story.
That’s why I cried without even realizing it.
I even imagined—
if I were a citizen of Rattamathani,
and I knew how much my Queen had sacrificed...even her own happiness... for the peace of our land,
I’d feel something beyond respect.
I’d feel a deep ache of compassion too.
And all of this...
came from a scene where the Queen simply “soaks her feet in warm water.”
That’s all.
But it was a moment where she discovered a quiet joy... one I knew I could never give her again.
That scene felt like the Queen wrote it herself,
telling her story through me.
And I, as the writer, could only thank her
for her humility, her self-awareness, and her quiet grace.
She is the Queen of Rattamathani... and she will always be one of the characters I’ll never forget.
“If not the daughter of a royal line,
Could I truly claim this queenly role as mine?”
As the first reigning queen of her kingdom,
Isarawadee carries the weight of countless expectations—
and on some days, that weight grows heavier than anyone could ever see.
Behind the Scenes of “The Crown Princess” Book Trailer #2
| The Crown Princess: In Her Silence
After creating my very first book trailer, I found myself enjoying the process of storytelling through moving visuals. So, I set out to create the second trailer—this time with a different tone, one that would delve deeper into the emotions of the main character.
🔍 It all began, once again, with music.
I spent a long time listening to dozens of tracks and eventually narrowed it down to two:
•One had an intense, dramatic rhythm.
•The other carried a haunting, sorrowful beauty.
I thought about the story—how it’s filled with both powerful moments and quiet pain. I had to choose just one direction.
In the end, I chose the sorrowful melody. It felt perfect for expressing the silent ache in the Queen’s heart—a woman burdened by the weight of the throne, yet shaken by the someone.
🎥 For the visuals, I continued to use symbolic imagery, like palace halls, glowing candles, a throne, a crown, sunlight, and shadows…
But this time, I added something new: animated character portraits taken from the book cover.
Seeing their expressions come to life—their eyes filled with emotion—made me feel closer to the characters than ever before.
I spent hours aligning each frame, adjusting light, color, pacing, and subtitles to match the emotion of the music.
And when everything came together, I truly felt:
This trailer has a heart.
Though I don’t have professional tools or a team,
this has become one of the creations I’m most proud of.
And I would love to share it with you—
so you can glimpse the quiet longing that lives in the Queen’s silence.
💛 Thank you to everyone who’s followed and supported me through this journey.
🎥Behind the Scenes of My First Book Trailer: The Crown Princess
| The Crown Princess: A Queen’s duty begins
Creating my first book trailer wasn’t easy—especially as a new author with no background in video editing, no professional team, and no advanced tools. All I had was inspiration, determination, and a deep love for the story I wrote.
The very first thing I searched for was a royalty-free soundtrack.
I spent hours listening to dozens of tracks on sites like Pixabay and YouTube Library, until I found one with a thrilling and majestic tone. It felt incredibly fitting for the character of the warrior queen. From the very first notes, I could already sense the atmosphere of power, duty, and inner conflict.
Once the music was chosen, I started selecting the visuals.
I didn’t use full illustrations of the characters, so I focused on atmospheric imagery that conveyed emotion: palaces, council halls, northern provinces, armies, a crown, flowers, and glimpses of the queen in her warrior’s attire, holding her signature bow.
Every image was chosen to match the theme of the story — a warrior queen burdened by duty, the hopes of her people, and the weight of her own heart.
It took me nearly two days to sync the visuals with the rhythm of the music.
Some scenes had to be revised several times to make sure the subtitles captured what the queen was facing — as the very first reigning monarch of her kingdom.
What makes me smile, despite not having a big production team or high view counts,
is knowing that every frame in this trailer was created from the heart.
And I hope it allows the audience to catch a glimpse — even just a little — of the queen’s inner world.
Whispers Before the Crown: Introducing the Prequel Novella
In the quiet shadow of the crown, a tale begins—not with grand declarations, but with silence. “The Crown Princess: The Silent Beginning” is a tender prequel novella that invites readers into the world of Rattamathani before the crown was ever worn.
Set a year after Queen Isarawadee’s coronation, this story captures a time when the weight of responsibility meets the ache of solitude. As the queen upholds her duties with poise and quiet strength, far away, a young woman named Jinda lives a humble life, unaware that destiny is quietly weaving their paths together.
This prequel doesn’t aim to tell a sweeping romance. Instead, it shares the stillness before the story blooms. It’s a gentle introduction for new readers and a gift of depth for those who have already followed “The Crown Princess.”
Crafted with the same devotion and lyrical calm that define Maewtaotaofu’s work, “The Silent Beginning” is available now on Amazon Kindle
Let your heart rest in the hush before love.
(TH)
เสียงกระซิบก่อนบัลลังก์: แนะนำเล่มพิเศษ “The Silent Beginning”
ก่อนเสียงแห่งความรักจะเอ่ยออกมา มีเพียงความเงียบสงบและหน้าที่ที่ต้องแบกรับ “The Crown Princess: The Silent Beginning” คือเล่มพิเศษที่บอกเล่าเรื่องราวช่วงหนึ่งหลังจากองค์ราชินีอิสราวดีเสด็จขึ้นครองราชย์ได้ราวหนึ่งปี
A sapphic royal romance set in a Southeast Asian–inspired kingdom.
When duty binds and silence reigns, how do two women find their way to each other?
A quiet love grows between Queen Isarawadee and her consort, Lady Jinda—rooted in shared glances, unspoken care, and a loyalty that challenges the crown itself.
If you enjoy slow-burn romance, emotional restraint, and political elegance, this story is for you.
Originally written in Thai, this story has been lovingly translated to share its quiet beauty with the world.
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